I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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