Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
