I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
