yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
