I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
