If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I cut my penus on the lid.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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