perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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