Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
