you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
