I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
