I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
