I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
