Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
sarcasm needs its own font
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
