Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
