Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
