you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
