Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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