I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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