Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
