there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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