My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
