Is it normal to miss your booty call?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i will never coherently bang her
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
