Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
