At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
