She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
