Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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