If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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