he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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