Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
