I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
