In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
