im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
He has the fingertips of a God
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
