I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
