He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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