Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think I won the penis lottery.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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