marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
