I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
