This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
