I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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