You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
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