if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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