in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
