i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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