I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
