I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
