I'm lost and stupid without you.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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