but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
