I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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