Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
