I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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