I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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