Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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