his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
