I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
