oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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