I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
